Sunday, December 7, 2008

Love Life

I feel like I've lost all interest in seeking a love life. I don't know why, but it seems to be that way.

I don't that interest in connecting with someone. At least not like I used to. I feel so uninterested in the opposite sex, but this doesn't mean I'm interested in the same sex. I have no feeling towards any form of sex. It's almost like I don't care about love or lust.

I guess saying I don't care about love is too extreme, but thats the way I feel. Lust is definitely in that category, though. I'm still a virgin and I don't seem as adament about losing as I did when I was in high school. Like I said earlier, I just don't care.

I guess leaving high school behind might have been the catalyst. High school is nothing but a melting pot of pressure. People are always judging you, making fun of you and whatever they want because the corld is at their finder tips. They are invincible.

Then we graduate and our morality shows. The world that was at our finger tips is now in front of us and moving off into the distance and it's up to us to play catch up. Maybe I just don't care about playing catch up.

The pressure to show I have some worth in this world is gone and I don't have any motivation to spark a love life with no meaning. I want a meaning for love. I haven't found it yet and it is starting to get monotonus.

I'm not sick of it at all, though. I just don't care.

I just want someone to need me. To expect me to put a band-aid on their wound everytime the world is unfair. I want to be needed and I don't feel it. Not now, not never.

And I just don't care anymore.

1 comment:

Jessie Bridgeman said...

I know somewhat how you feel, and Im sorry that you feel that way. Maybe now that you stop looking you will find someone, you know the harder you look for something the harder it is to find.